The Unspeakable Mystery

No unspeakable magic
Or mantra or talisman
Helps me across;
To reach the metaphor Of abstraction of completeness
The nakhuda is a silent one;
The light of his lantern---
It comes from the rays 
In the chinks of my  broken floor
Or from coincidences of collapsing beams
Maybe even from old fractures
Or scars or abrasions or bruises
Even pains, gnawings, stirrings
Longings, pleadings, solitudes
Echoing from some unknown world
Within and without
Which no words can define
It flashes like lightening sometimes
Stretching across the length and breadth
Of my dark blue skies
Then I yearn to be reborn
Like leaf
Like bud
Like pupa
But when I voice it
They tell  me its nothing--
Women cannot aspire
Beyond the kitchen stove
Or understand patterns
Other than plates on the table
Or recognise but cobwebs
In dusty nooks---
But I become sure
The second time
That  light touches my heart
There’s someone there 
Even if I cannot see
There’s a footstep
Even if I cannot hear
Its  not to no one that the dove coos
On my window each morning
Its not for no one 
The ant carries her burden of sugar
Not without some thought
The bitter neem seems to breathe
And not without some hidden message
Is the perfume laden white rose
Not without some resolve
The branches of avocado
Claw into space and light.